The Aspiring Old Man
I've had the pleasure of hearing pastor and author, Gordon MacDonald, at a conference for Southern New England ministers. This was my first exposure to Gordon; I came to admire him right away.
Gordon shared stories from his personal life and shared what it means to be a healthy minister. He was also there to share his new book, Building Below the Water Line.
There were many things that Gordon said that I scribbled down in my green Moleskine, but the one thing that he said that I can easily recall (without looking at my notes) is this:
What kind of old man do I want to be?
I recently celebrated my 30th birthday. I always like to do some kind of reflection to see what my previous year was like and what my hopes for the coming year would be. With the question mentioned above, I began to think about the characteristics and qualities I want to embody that will live beyond my life. After all, the Bible says that our lives are "a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14)
Here are a few things that I hope to develop throughout my life:
I want to be a person who empowers.
As a minister, it's easy to hold all the control and direction of a ministry. It's hard to be open-handed with ideas, style, and approaches (especially when you feel like your way is the best way). However, I want people to be excited and feel like they have ownership of a ministry that I'm inviting them to be part of. The joy of empowering others helps the work of discipleship move more fluidly than if I left it all up to myself (see 2 Timothy 2:2)
I want to be a person who loves his family well.
Right now, it's just Brooke and I, but we are planning on having children soon. I want my kids to know that their father really loved their mother and loved them a lot. I want them to first experience and see the example of love done right before they go and find spouses of their own and attempt the same. When there are difficult circumstances, I want my family to know that I trusted in God first for wisdom/guidance, and then worked to alleviate the situation as best as I could. I want them to know that I did the best I could to provide for them and make sure they had what they needed to have a good life.
I also want to love my friends well. Currently, I am not as close geographically with my best friends as I would like. So, creativity in how I correspond with them on a regular basis is needed. Though it's not as good as going to their house to share a meal and face-to-face conversation, it's better than dropping the relationship altogether. When I am in their town and time allows for it, I love to get together for a meal or coffee and laugh and share stories.
I want to be a person who lives generously.
When we hear the word "generous", our minds tend to go to the almighty dollar. Notice that I chose to say lives, not gives. Living goes beyond just giving money to charities and NPOs (though I do that). To me, living generously means that I'm sharing more than finance: I'm sharing the elements of my life. I want to live as a person who is generous with time and resources to those that may be in a situation where they could benefit from such generosity.
I hope to continue to add to this list of what kind of old man I want to be when I hit my sixties and seventies. If you're a young person, what kinds of qualities and characteristics are you hoping to embody when you hit your sixties/seventies? If you're an older person, do you live out qualities and characteristics that are bigger than yourself?
